i am in a terrible mood anderson. i’m hoping getting this off my chest will help calm me down, because seriously, i could explode!
as you know, i’m a bit of a hoarder, but you may not know that this has extended into my work life. i don’t like to get rid of stuff not because of sentimental attachment (that would be sick!) but for later need. well, i do keep some stuff for sentimental reasons, but not from this current job. i’ve been on my project for about 2 years, so i’ve accumulated a lot of paper. as i’m currently in an unforeseen holding period, i thought it would be a good idea to start cleaning. last week i got rid of some stuff and today some more. although today’s reason for starting the cleaning process was that i was looking for something.
in my line of work, if you don’t have documented proof of conversations, it never happened. so i needed some notes about a conversation i had, i knew i had some of what i needed but not all. so i went through everything. and now i can’t find any of what i need. so i am pissed. i really don’t like messing up. and this is 100% my fault. i didn’t file things properly, and now i’m forced to figure out what to do. it isn’t a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but to me it is monumental. i do not make mistakes (unless i’m doing math) and i do not handle even minor failures well. especially when i know better. i could get all psychological and explain how, as a child, my mom set some very high expectations for me, and i still hear that nagging voice in my head, but that trip down memory lane sure isn’t going to help right now!
to top it all off, i work in a cubicle setting and it is unnecessarily noisy today. i’ve put on my ipod to drown everything out, and hopefully to calm me down. now it’s up to the shuffle to do its job!
hope your day is going better than mine,