loquacious letter

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greetings and salutations anderson,

i trust my latest missive finds you at the epitome of fortitude and magnificence.  obligatory musings on my own lugubrious condition will simply have to be postponed until such time as i am able to extrapolate my theories…

i bet you’re wondering why the plodding language found above. my sister has read my letters to you. don’t be mad anderson, they are, after all, on the internet which is surprisingly public (colour me nonplussed!). anyway, my sister thinks i should be showing off more of my vocabulary in these letters. yes, she is currently an undergrad focusing on english lit, but i don’t think that’s why she wants me to write like a thesaurus. it’s just because big words rock. why use a series of short words to circle around a situation, when one awesome, multi-syllable word will do the trick. also, i’m even funnier when i turn my smart on.

one unfortunate thing about having big words in my vernacular is that sometimes what i say is met with awkward silences and blank stares. i’m not like spencer reed on criminal minds or sheldon on big bang theory, but i do confound people now and then. sometimes even the fact that i like words confuses people. but i was always a reader and always thought different ways of expressing things are fun. that’s right, fun!  my sister used to have grammar and vocabulary homework and i loved to help her. sometimes it was really frustrating though when i didn’t like how a word was defined or if she was not as enthralled as i was with a certain choice adjective.

what can i say, i’m a word nerd.

 i’ve decided to give you a list of some of my most common and favourite big words. this way, when you spot them in future letters we can celebrate with sirens and confetti like on pee-wee’s playhouse when people said the secret word!! it will be a fun thing between us, i just know it!

 so here are some of my faves, in alphabetical order so they don’t get jealous of each other.

deign – used a lot when telling people i would rather be snobby than do something

hyperbole – i love to exaggerate, and then, if necessary, name drop that particular literary device when people act shocked 

incredulous – life is more than just a little shocking and it makes me incredulous!!

loathe – why hate something when you can loathe it?  not to be confused with loath, which is also a good word and i have used when i really don’t want to do something but want to sound smart when declining.

schadenfreude – what an amazing word!  and it’s a german compound word which makes it even better!  one simple word that describes the awesome way i feel when others are miserable.

sisyphean – like the guy in greek mythology, i often describe my life as a fruitless attempt to accomplish something that is always thwarted at the last second.

surreptitious – not to mention the adverb surreptitiously!! I love being deceptive and sneaky.

superfluous – a real favourite, but unfortunate as i have a slight lisp (also why does the word lisp have an ‘s’ in it???).  i use this word all the time because, from my perspective, most things are unnecessary. 

ubiquitous – i still remember learning this word in middle school and love to use it when things are plentiful or, more often, when there is too much of something or someone and i am cranky.

 ttfn,

~k

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