I’m sick :(


Hi anderson,
Sorry it’s been so long since i’ve written, i’ve been boring. I don’t want to make you fall asleep listening to the silly little details of my life. But i’m not feeling well,and being sick makes me selfish. So listen to me whine…
Why are colds so awful? How can sneezes be so horrible? But then, in the past 24 hours i have sneezed about 50 times so maybe i do know how. It’s the quantity. And the fear of peeing one’s pants. It’s exhausting!
So i’ve been taking all kinds of remedies to keep from getting sicker. Oil of oregano which is gross, bee propolis which is disgusting, vitamin d which is flavourless and vitamin c which is candy. But, too much vitamin c leads to other problems in the toilet department so i only eat those delicious chalky treats when i’m sick.
I’m going to curl up and whine for a bit. Sorry this letter is so brief but i’m hot, then i’m cold and that takes a lot out of a person.
Please send virtual chicken soup.

2 responses »

  1. Just to prepare you for the weeks ahead.
    Go to Costco now and buy one of those unmanageably large crates of giant kleenex boxes.
    This is the beginning of a new relationship. No, Not with a person! Remember you are sick.
    This relationship will be with a part of you that you take for granted. It has a prominent place on your face but you just expect it to do its job, no fuss no bother.
    Day after day it enters every room before you do, checking things out, making sure nothing too odious is about to assail you. And if there is a less than savoury scene you are warned, and you can prepare, with nary a ounce of acknowledgement, never mind gratitude from you.
    But is this all you expect ? No of course not.
    You also expect it to bath your very essence in countless experiences that delight and entice. And you, what do you respond? “Oh I love that!” or “Mmmmmm!”or most revealing “That’s MY signature scent!” never just a simple THANK YOU!
    So sister, the days of this one way giving are over. You’re on your own.
    Anticipate odious events some other way. Figure out flavours without me.

    It’s out! I’ve said it now!
    “I’m done helping you…it’s my turn for attention.”

    Now that you are listening to me(whiny baby) here are few tips.
    1.Use those soft tissues gently…no paper towels, toilet paper or sleeves
    2.Any hint of red or raw, apply your best organic salve.(I don’t care if you are an Albertan…no petroleum products)
    3.Daily recitation of “Ode to My Proboscis” to be created by you!

    Carry this out with love and gratitude and I may return to my former status as your most useful but under appreciated nose.

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