step into my comfort zone

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hey anderson!

this past weekend, i took a course and was in a group with a guy who had a phd in computer science.  he made me slightly afraid about my online identity, so i decided to do what i could to control things.  i decided to go and delete some online accounts like on classmates and hi5 (i honestly don’t know why those sites still exist!!).  when i got to my mypace, i remembered i had been fairly active on it for a time and decided to reread some of my blogs.  tucked in with a whole bunch of surveys and personality lists, i found a blog about my 2007 new year’s resolution.  i thought i would share it with you and then update!  here it is:

happy (?) 2007

Current mood:optimisticso it’s taken me a month to solidify my new year’s resolution.  whatever, i’m lazy.  which is pretty much the theme of my resolution.  it’s 2007.  i turn 27 way too soon for my liking.  even admitting that right now has made me feel a little nauseous.  and i know that age is only a number, but i know that at 27 one should behave like an adult.  this terrifies me.  i never really pictured my life past high school, so i have no idea if this is where i though i would be at 27.  but i know where i don’t want to be.  i’m in a bit of a rut, not in a bad way, i enjoy my life, but it could be different.

thus, the plan for 2007.  i am going to be leaving my comfort zone.  widening my circle of where i go, what i do, and who i do it with.  in theory, the plan is to be up for anything.  i may have already learned that the plan should probably be less vague; 2007 is the year of adventure, not regret.  so, in no particular order, here is a list of things i am thinking about incorporating into my life.  feel free to comment and add to the list, this is going to require a concerted effort from everyone i know to ensure i don’t give up. 

k’s list of stuff she doesn’t want to do, but thinks she ought to:

– go grocery shopping once a week and buy stuff that requires actual preparation

– call my grandmother regularly – what’s reasonable, i have no idea!?!

– walk to and from work every day and use the money i save to buy something useful

– no more shopping just for the sake of buying something.  once my gift cards from christmas are all used up, shopping will be a treat, not a hobby.  (this one scares me the most)

– i am losing a very important hobby, so i am going to need some new ones.  people keep suggesting knitting.  maybe i will take one of the chinook college courses i think sound cool; cake decorating, karaoke!  that’s a good one,  some time in 2007 i will sing at karaoke.  while i do consider it a spectator sport, and the last time i tried i froze and my tone-deaf friend has to sing, i think i can do it…

 – read the myriad books i have and no more rereading harry potter.  no, i don’t like that.  if i read one new book, i can reread harry potter.  and harry potter in other languages is exempt from the rule because…

– if i don’t practice, i won’t be fluent in my various other languages.  i will seriously consider taking that french immersion weekend at the u of c.  when someone speaks to me in any of the languages i speak, i will answer them in it. budget.  grown-ups are always talking about a budget.  i will start paying closer attention to how much money goes in and out. 

– stop judging people at first glance.  i’m never going to make new friends if i dislike everyone i meet.  this doesn’t always work, see the girl i was super friendly too and she still thought i was intimidating, but i will try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  and by people i think i mean girls, i think i expect too much from female friends, i much more accepting of guys that act like morons…

– i should really keep my place clean.  a quick tidy once a week shouldn’t be that hard.  i can manage that.

– make some preliminary decisions on my future.  look into masters programs and even continuing education certificates.

i had a longer list but i can’t remember some of them.  and yes, i had been drinking, and no, i don’t plan on addressing that in 2007…

 

i have to say, not a lot has changed.  but i’m still pretty much ok with my life.  i definitely struggled with turning 27, just like i am going struggle the hell out of turning 32 next year.  i think there is something about the incremental age increase that really freaks me out.  i wonder if on my next birthday, if i just aged 30 years i would be happy.  i think i might be.  i’ve wanted to retire since i was about 17 after all.

i said i was struggling with feeling like i was in a rut .  sometimes i still feel that way, and sometimes all i want to do is curl up in my rut and relax.  so i think that’s improvement.  i could still absolutely branch out, but i love my comfort zone.  i found this quote recently: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ― Neale Donald Walsch.  i think it’s a great quote, if a scary one.  but if interpret it as the end being still somewhat within the comfort zone, then i can tolerate it.

i definitely tried to be adventurous in 2007, here’s an update on my goal list:

-i still don’t grocery shop.  i went to the store today to get the ingredients for greek salad.  i had canned spaghetti instead.  it was a nice trip down memory lane to my university days, and luckily i didn’t have to warm it up in my sink like i once tried in desperation in university.

-i forgot my grandma’s birthday last week.  but there are extenuating circumstances, and i do wish i could call her regularly.

-i now have a job outside of downtown so i am forced to drive.  so now i spend even more money, and am more sedentary.

-oh wow, the shopping one…online shopping has made this hobby so much worse in the last few years. i actually got a box delivered to me at work today full of fun baking tools.  next week i hope to get jeans, nail polish and a few christmas presents for people.  it’s ok to shop when it’s for other people though, so that’s not a problem, right?

-i still haven’t sung karaoke.  and i don’t sit on the sidelines much anymore.  how sad.  i think i will add this back to my to-do list.

-i have definitely been reading a lot more.  i still watch tv, but reading is such a passion for me.  thus far this year i’ve read about 35 new books, with a few re-reads.

-i haven’t done much practicing of my languages, but my sister is learning german so it’s starting to come back.  maybe i’ll combine this with the idea above and start reading more books in other languages.  i do have harry potter in 3 other languages after all!!

-i am still a real judger of people.  i am guarded and unsure of new people, which is fine.  but yeah, sometimes my boyfriend says i am mean.  i really wish i could stop myself, but i have no filter, and a lot of anger, so things happen…

-cleanliness…well, you got my letter about the hoarding so things aren’t great, but for the most part my condo is clean.  i have cleaners come in twice a month, so i do have to put enough away for them to be able to wash surfaces.  this is an invaluable expense.

-my future!  this one is a success!! as i said i’m taking some courses and i hope to get a project management certificate by may of next year.  yay me!!!

so, what do you think?  progress?  i’m sure when my mother intercepts this letter she will remind me that things happen in their own time and i shouldn’t be hard on myself.  so i’m not going to be, i just think it’s fun to revisit something like this.

i hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my comfort zone.

~k

 

 

 

 

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